Moving to Spain: How to Manage Expectations
For many, the dream of moving to Spain often begins on holiday. Days spent relaxing in the Mediterranean sun, sipping wine by the coast, and exploring the local markets can make Spain seem like an idyllic place to live. However, making the leap from holidaymaker to full-time resident comes with its own set of challenges. While people often focus on visas, property, and taxes, few take the time to consider what their everyday lives will look like once the novelty of moving wears off.
At The International Reporter, we spoke with Therapy in Barcelona, a specialized therapy service for internationals, to discuss some of the common misconceptions about moving abroad and how to manage expectations.
The Difference Between Holiday and Everyday Life
Living in Spain is not the same as being on holiday. On vacation, everything feels carefree—you’re not dealing with bills, job pressures, or day-to-day chores. However, once you settle in, the reality of daily life sets in, and it can be a shock for those who didn’t fully consider what living abroad entails.
Many new residents don’t anticipate the loneliness that comes with moving away from family, friends, and neighbors, especially for those who have spent most of their lives in one place. Therapy in Barcelona explains that managing these emotions is essential for long-term happiness abroad.
‘One of the biggest misconceptions people have is that moving abroad will instantly solve their problems or drastically improve their quality of life. While a fresh start can be liberating, it doesn’t eliminate stressors—it often adds new ones. People sometimes expect to feel at home immediately, but the reality is that adjustment takes time, patience, and emotional resilience.
To manage expectations, it’s crucial to prepare for the challenges, from bureaucratic hurdles to navigating cultural differences. Embrace the uncertainty and expect discomfort—that way, when things don’t go smoothly, it feels less like failure and more like part of the process. ‘
Managing Paperwork and Visas Isn’t the Hardest Part
The initial steps—getting a visa, handling property purchases, and sorting out taxes—can be stressful, but once these are done, real life begins. The everyday realities, such as integrating into a new community, navigating cultural differences, and dealing with language barriers, are what often catch people off guard.
While these challenges are normal, they can be daunting for those who didn’t plan beyond the logistical aspects of moving. This is where managing expectations becomes crucial.
Qualities and Skills for Adapting to a New Culture
Adapting to life in Spain requires more than just learning the language and understanding the culture. Successful international residents often possess qualities like resilience, patience, and flexibility. According to Therapy in Barcelona, it’s important to embrace these qualities to help ease the transition.
‘Flexibility, open-mindedness, and curiosity are key. People who adapt well are often those who can let go of rigid expectations and see the experience as a learning journey. Empathy is also vital—both for oneself and others. Understanding that your reactions and frustrations are natural but also being curious about the local perspective helps bridge gaps.
On our Instagram @therapyinbcn I offer various tools for fostering cognitive flexibility such as the mantras: ‘Everything is Welcome,’ and ‘It’s Just Different.’ These mantras can be useful in moments when we get stuck in comparing our host culture to that in our country of origin or when we are feeling hopelessly unaccepting of challenging cultural quirks in our new home!’
Newcomers should also understand that cultural adaptation takes time. Whether it’s getting used to the slower pace of life in rural areas or adjusting to different work customs, allowing yourself to adapt gradually is key.
The Importance of Building a Social Network
One of the most crucial aspects of settling into a new country is building a social network. It’s easy to feel isolated when you’ve moved away from loved ones, especially in the early stages when everything is unfamiliar. Therapy in Barcelona suggests that making an effort to connect with locals and fellow expatriates can make a significant difference in adjusting to life in Spain.
From joining language classes to participating in local events, there are many ways to meet new people and create a support system. This network can help combat feelings of loneliness and homesickness.
‘Building a social network is essential, especially when you’re far from familiar support systems. Research shows that social connections are one of the most important factors for long-term happiness and mental health. When you’re in a new country, this might require stepping outside your comfort zone to meet people through expat communities, language classes, or interest groups.
Loneliness can creep in if social needs aren’t met, so it’s important to actively seek out connections and foster a sense of belonging. Cultivating a healthy enjoyment of your own company and solitude is also key to managing the isolation that can be an expected part of the international journey,’ advised the Therapy in Barcelona team.
Language Barriers and the Adjustment Process
For many, learning Spanish (or the local dialect) is one of the biggest challenges. While you may have picked up a few phrases during your holiday, living in Spain often requires a more in-depth understanding of the language. This can be frustrating at first, especially when it comes to everyday tasks like dealing with bureaucracy or making new friends.
Therapy in Barcelona emphasizes that learning a new language is part of the adjustment process. It’s important to be patient with yourself and accept that it will take time. ‘Language barriers can feel isolating and affect everything from work to social interactions. It can be exhausting to navigate life in a language you’re not fluent in, leading to frustration or even a sense of inadequacy.
To overcome this, it’s important to practice mindful self-compassion. You can find a post about mindful self-compassion on our Instagram @therapyinbcn
Remember that language learning is a process (a very long process!). Strategies like taking formal language classes, practicing with locals, or joining language exchange groups can help ease communication difficulties.‘
For more information about learning Spanish read our previous post How To Move To Spain: The Language – The International Reporter- Spanish news in English
Dealing with Loneliness and Isolation
It’s normal to feel lonely or isolated after moving to Spain. Even in bustling cities or coastal villages, many international residents find themselves missing the familiar comforts of home. Therapy in Barcelona recommends acknowledging these feelings rather than suppressing them.
Staying connected with loved ones through regular video calls and visits can help ease feelings of homesickness, but it’s also important to create a new sense of belonging in Spain. Therapy can be beneficial for those struggling to find their footing or feeling overwhelmed by the change. ‘Physical distance from family and friends often amplifies feelings of loneliness, especially in the early months. Social media and video calls can help, but they aren’t a substitute for in-person support. Missing out on important life events or daily interactions with loved ones can create a sense of isolation.
Strategies to cope include staying connected to your existing support network in meaningful ways while also working on cultivating new relationships in your host country. A therapist can offer guidance on processing these emotions, normalizing the feelings of loss, and finding new sources of comfort.‘
Manifestation of Culture Shock
Culture shock is real, and it often manifests in unexpected ways. From frustrations with how locals approach time management to misunderstandings with neighbors, these small but constant differences can build up, leaving some feeling out of place. Therapy in Barcelona advises recognizing the signs of culture shock early and addressing them through support networks or professional help.
‘Cultural shock tends to manifest in phases: initially, there’s the honeymoon phase where everything feels exciting and novel, but then it often shifts to frustration or hostility when the differences become more apparent and challenging. Common symptoms include irritability, homesickness, a sense of loss, and even physical symptoms like sleep problems or fatigue.
Understanding that culture shock is a process helps. It’s about developing coping mechanisms to push through the discomfort, promote cognitive flexibility, and ultimately move toward the goal post, which is to integrate the new culture into your life.‘
When to Seek Professional Help
If feelings of isolation, frustration, or homesickness persist, seeking professional help may be the best course of action. Therapy in Barcelona provides specialized therapy for internationals both online and in person, offering a safe space to talk through these challenges. Sometimes, having an impartial listener can make a significant difference in navigating the emotional landscape of living abroad.
‘It’s normal to experience ups and downs when moving abroad, but when negative feelings become overwhelming—like persistent anxiety, depression, or social withdrawal—it may be time to seek professional help. If you’re struggling to function in daily life, a therapist can help you make sense of your emotions, offer concrete strategies and actionable steps to improve your well-being. At Therapy in Barcelona, we often work with internationals who feel stuck during this transition phase, helping them build resilience, manage stress, and ultimately thrive in their new environment.
Similarly, issues that seem totally unrelated to your move can be triggered or amplified at any time; communication issues, relationship struggles, stress, social anxiety, even old traumas or mental health issues can flare up. Our team of therapists who are internationals and specialise in working with internationals are equipped to help you move through your challenges so you can thrive in your life abroad. We work with adults, couples, children 5+, adolescents and families online or in-office in Barcelona.‘
Final Thoughts on Moving to Spain
Moving to Spain can be an exciting and fulfilling experience, but it’s important to manage expectations and plan for the everyday realities of living in a new country. While visas, paperwork, and property are all critical steps, the emotional and social aspects of relocating are just as important. Building a support system, learning the language, and recognizing when to seek help can all contribute to a smoother transition into life in Spain.
If you’re finding it difficult to adjust to life in Spain or are feeling overwhelmed by loneliness and homesickness, don’t hesitate to reach out to Therapy in Barcelona. They specialize in helping internationals navigate the emotional challenges of living abroad. You can connect with them on social media or visit their website for more information. A big thank you to Therapy in Barcelona for their invaluable insights and contribution to this article.
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For those interested in relocating to Spain we have created a Facebook Group How to Move to Spain to help you throughout the process. We will provide helpful free printables to keep you on track, online events to inform and support your journey, and above all create a community where you can ask questions and get advice. Please feel free to join!
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